Transformation Tuesday

....is just about as dumb as Throwback Thursday- but hey that's the new fad so I guess I should get all-aboard on the train.

In order to honor this fad I would like to share my awkward transformation over the years.

 That time I was apparently forced to wear a cow costume.

 That time when I was BEYOND EXCITED (can't you tell??) to have a new baby brother.

 

*cue forced smile brought on by bribery*

 That time I owned a Dallas Cowboys sweatshirt before I had ever been to Texas- look at me now!

 Just had to post this- awkward/adorable little chance

 Those awkward years when I never brushed my hair.

 That one time I willingly danced with my cousin- probably meaning I had a crush on him- awkward

 Once again- the HAIR y'all!

 That one time when my Aunt wore all jean and her hair was "in".

Before aviators were in again.

 And now for the awkward high school transition....

 That one time when I loved this picture- would've been profile pic status back in the day.

 We called ourselves the pink sistas- nuff' said.

 Once again- would have been prof pic status. WHY

Yet another, "Omg this is SUCH a good pic of us. It's like were not even trying!"

"We are- da Somesetas! SO hood!" - why.

And now for the unfortunate high school years...should've known better.

Shameless Selfies

i lve my new gr8 tank top- totes cute!

 That time I got a haircut that I thought was cute when in reality I looked like a boy who wore American Eagle polos and Bermudas daily.

 That time I thought my bulletin board was SUCH a cute back drop *new scarf y'all*

That time freshman year when we thought we were oh so cool taking pics in dressing rooms

 Remember that time I broke my arm the week before my birthday beach weekend? Yeah, me too.

 What's more awkward than your friends feeling bad for you and no one getting in the water?

Those times when Lauren and I thought it was SO cool to take pics in the car.

Bermuda days...

Thank God those days are over. Side note- we were dressed up to go bowling- yep we were cool.

That one time when I awkwardly thought this was actually Michael Jackson. WHY.

 

 Camp crushes...

 OMG I just met him yesterday but I'm TOTALLY in love

Homecoming...

Let's be as awkward as we possibly can; maybe it'll hide my horrible tan lines

First date...

& why on Earth did I think it was a good idea to take a Scavenger hunt for a project for SCHOOL on my first date? Nerd alert.

 

Couples costumes...

Yep. This happened.

Church...

That time Mallory and I coordinated matching costumes for church dodgeball

BFF's....

That time Lauren and I thought we were cool jumping over boxes and what not

"OMG let's make it look like I'm holding you!" *cue high school girl giggling and boyfriend's eyes rolling*

Haha, nail salon pic! Were SO cool!

That time we thought it would be cool to get "engaged" on a college tour- we were SO ready for college with out maturity levels

That time we dressed up for the Harry Potter premier(s).

Yearbook Camp...

That time I drove my teacher's car without a license.

*Prom*

*candid* *serious* *awkward*

My first visit to UNC...

So much has changed since then. Can't say my awkwardness has disappeared by any means.

Moms from a different point of view

Ever think about how your Mom was when you were a kid and thought about things you might like to do differently when you became a mom? 

I had a taste of that this weekend.

I watched my age 8 and 10 year old cousins for the weekend. 

I love my mother and I now am beginning to understand why she does the things she does and some of the feelings she has at times. 

When she asks me to get my shoes on 10 minutes before we get to where were going; when she asks me to clean my room even when she doesn't go in there; when she makes you eat your fruit and vegetables ;); when she says no to that oh so desirable milkshake at sonic and has you go for the happy hour slushy instead. All of these things represent planning. Planning ahead for the unknown- planning ahead for the known. She asks me to get my shoes on 10 minutes before we arrive so were not late to church and we can maximize our potential; she asks me to clean my room so I can feel like I live in a clean environment; she made me eat healthy foods so that I wasn't constantly filling my body with unhealthy food; she wanted me to drink the happy hour slushy so we could save money (because really and truly I would be just as happy with the slushy- not that we couldn't afford the extra $1 for the milkshake).

Now these events aren't necessarily exactly what my mom did per say, but I experienced every part of it this weekend. 

You're probably wondering- this blog is supposed to be awkward- where does that come in? Well, here are some awkward "mom moments" of the weekend. 

-the fact that my cousins told everyone we ran in to that I'm an awful driver and have no sense of direction. 

-the kids hated everything I made them. I burnt toast and couldn't even make scrambled eggs that were edible- so much for that "mrs" degree. 

-I asked the kids to not spill their happy hour slushy in the car only to spill mine in my lap as the words exited my mouth. 

-the fact that I got no one ask me how old "my kids" were.. Which isn't actually awkward at all but it would have been had it happened- and I can pretty much guarantee you at least 3 people thought that somewhere when we were out and about. Side note- that would make me a 10 year old mother, breakin' records and what not you know.

-when I go to a different restaurant to fulfill the needs of my gluten free cousin& they make the pizza wrong causing tears but I can't go back because it was already his second try and it would be awkward. 

-when my cousin sees me checking out cute guys she says loudly, "brown or blonde?"- "code" for which boy do you think is cute?? 

-that time my grandpa called at 7:30 a.m. and woke everyone up. Kids answered the phone and he asked them where I was: "sleeping" (aka leaving two kids to fend for themselves and have no supervision whatsoever) and oh what did she make you for breakfast (obviously an obvious answer. NOTHING IM SLEEPING) "it's yoyo (your on your own) because bay can't cook"

So, you can say I've learned a lot this weekend. I can also say I'll always cherish the weekend with my girls& my first view of my future home; downtown Dallas. 

Don't Mess with Texas

At least I tried not to.

I am living the life of an "outgoing" Army brat in Allen, Texas this summer. Meeting people my age is difficult- unless you throw yourself at different groups like college ministries, random people at Top Golf or, as I before mentioned, people in grocery stores (except he was TOTALLY in high school).

I'd like to share a couple of stories of my attempt to live- taking every so-called "risk" when it comes my way.

First, some background. I have some friends that are involved at a church about 30 minutes away. I decided to go to a college ministry night to get to know some people my age. My friends told me to go about 45 minutes late because the few guys I had previously met would not be there until later.

I arrived at 7:15- 45 minutes late. First rule of an awkward soul: be no later than 7 minutes late. The door had a sign: "Come in". While this may seem welcoming, it's also completely terrifying. Mostly terrifying. I walked in and immediately saw a group of about 12 college-aged students and a guy-who I thought was the middle school youth pastor- looking at me. Lord knows what came out of my mouth next- but this is what I imagine, "Hi I'm Bailey I'm from North Carolina my favorite color is purple I know you middle school youth pastor we met once...etc." My favorite color isn't even purple. It was that bad and at that point my favorite color should have been red- the color of my face.

The night ended up being fine and I met some really nice people. However, the guy who I thought was the middle school youth pastor wasn't really the middle school youth pastor- he was just the only other African American guy there. Great. Now I look like a racist. Lolz I questioned again and again why I'm so awkward and why the middle school youth pastor would have even been there.

Last Saturday night I tried out some Top Golf with my cousins, aunts and uncle and some of their friends and their families. A cute guy golfing next to us caught my eye and some of the ladies noticed. They got me to talk the guys after some convincing. This situation wasn't actually all that awkward and it went fairly well besides the guys being a part of the GGG model and all. This is the awkward part:

Yes my family took a picture- gotta love em'.

Once again: don't forget to take risks to find that grocery store love or to meet people your age- once you deawkwardize the situation you'll be good to go.

Worst Wardrobe Matching Malfunction (WWMM)

It's truly unfair to be walking around town and see someone in the exact same outfit as you from J Crew. You had tried SO hard to make it unique with the bold earring choice and coral wedges- but trying hard never appears to be good enough. Susie Q shows up in the exact same outfit and does it better. Experiencing the initial shock is the hardest part of the wardrobe challenge. You must do your best to avoid placing your hand over your mouth, rolling your eyes or giving Susie Q the once over to see if you did the outfit better than her. It's like those magazine articles about celebrities, "who did it best"- except instead of readers it's the audience around you and instead of celebrities it's average you and Susie Q. You awkwardly play it off like it's just so cool that you're matching today- and oh! Great minds think alike Susie!

bull.

You're both so angry that this happened and you could literally pull the bubble necklace right off Susie so that you would win the competition.

Don't pretend you don't feel this way. And sure, if it's your best friend you may be excited that you both think alike and just how perfect you are as BFFs. Any other time you would rather run.

Especially at prom. Having the same dress as another girl at prom is the 2nd worst wardrobe matching malfunction that there is.

I like to refer to this horribly awkward situation as WWMM.

First, let me preface this by saying I don't actually believe people from age 30 to 49 are "old"- just to clarify and save myself from endless rants about how I supposedly called you old- I did NOT.

Having the same, exact, outfit as someone older than about the age of 30 falls under WWMM. This goes past the stage of awkward chit chat about where you got your dress and just how much you LOVE J Crew to the point of running away and considering eating dinner at a different restaurant just so no one spots you and your matching friend. This is just awkward because you reconsider your choice of outfit wondering if you should have waited 10 years to wear it. This isn't meant to be offensive though- let's be honest, people my age don't want to see a 40 year old in a short shorts (not that all people my age should be in short shorts...). There is appropriate dress for different ages and if you're out of your category- on either end- it's questionable.

Here are a few examples of this occurring in my oh so awkward life.

Exhibit A:
2 years ago when I was dating my ex, I bought a red dress. His mom, sister and I enjoyed shopping together and we spotted a great sale at Macy's and found great church dresses for 20 bucks or so. His mom and I got the same dress, but I had gotten mine shortened (since it went down to about knee length) so it was something I would wear more. I showed up to his graduation Sunday and first saw his grandmother- Memom. Memom chuckled, unsure of what to say and gave me a hug. I wondered why she was chuckling but just figured it was "good ole memom" being sweet as always. I glanced over toward the rest of the family and noticed his mother-wearing- oh yes- the red dress. I was mortified, unsure of what to do, and overall did not handle it well. I avoided sitting near her the rest of the service, but of course we just had to get a picture together.

Exhibit B:
Once again a church story- who's surprised? I show up to church in a new J Crew dress I bought for work and who's wearing the same dress? A lady in probably about her 50s. Score. Once again- had to get a pic. Never fails.

Exhibit C:
Wearing the same bathing suit as your aunt to a water park. No- this didn't happen yet and will be avoided. C actually inspired this post. Tonight, as my aunt was unpacking I noticed a bathing suit in her bag. My mom had shipped the same one to me from North Carolina today so that I had an water park appropriate suit (instead of a strapless one). Hers was a one piece and mine was a bikini- but still- exact same. Thankfully, this crisis will be avoided thanks to my (s/o) Aunt Jennifer who will be letting me borrow one of her suits. So much for my mom shipping mine.

BUT WAIT- 2 days later I realize there's no way I'm fitting in my aunts bathing suit so this happens:

Oh- and the older people get so excited. They think to themselves- YES. I am wearing an age appropriate dress that a younger girl thought to buy. Me on the other hand- I'm running for the bathroom in order to asses how bad the situation is and what I can do to deawkwardtize it.

The best thing to do in this situation (I've learned from a lot of experience)- Play it cool. Let the older party have their shining moment and be excited about the WWMM. Nothing is more awkward then you getting embarrassed about it, therefore making them feel old. Joke- maybe tell them that they wear it better- whatever makes you feel most comfortable!

My Throwback Thursday rant

Seriously- what's the deal with Throwback Thursday? This so-called sensation of a hashtag got popular a little over a year ago and honestly I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the awkward photos from high school that I get tagged in, seeing how supposedly "cute" you and your little brother were in kindergarten and most of all- I'm sick of what I like to call the yesterday photo.  PSA: it is NOT a throwback if it happened less than at least nine months ago. Sorry, it's just not a throwback if prom was last week. Side note- #prompicoftheday should NOT be a thing but that's an entirely different rant that I don't want to go on and honestly shouldn't have to explain. It's about as okay as the high school selfie. I'm declaring the 9 months rule new rule of the #throwbackthursday sensation. 

Examples of horrible throwback Thursday situations: 

-that one time when I got tagged in a photo of "the last supper" from the last time some of my friends hung out in high school. Another PSA: don't tag Exs in pictures. Like do I even have to explain that? There was group of about 15 of us, 6 of which were at that point dating one of the people in the picture. We're all broken up now. Yes, we're all on good terms but that doesn't make that picture right- especially when we were all tagged. Like good lord could it get any more awkward?

-that awkward moment when I was tagged in a picture with people I don't hang out with anymore like 3 different Thursdays. Why are you tagging us when we literally haven't spoken in a year?? That's so awkward and it's truly something we shouldn't have to go through. I mean, our parents didn't have to go through it in the 80s. Maybe they were lucky to not have social media. Once again, I should have been in that time period (especially with my ever so awkward curly frizz ball that people like to call hair). 

-those pictures of gross couples that have been dating for like a week and their throwback was the Thursday they started dating- LAST Thursday. Self-explanatory and my gag reflex is on. Not necessary. 

But hey- some throwbacks are absolutely okay. I mostly say this to cover my own uses of throwback Thursday so I'm not deemed a hypocrite. 

Exhibit A- that cute picture of you and your current significant other and a pic stitch photo of you at kindergarten graduation and your high school graduation- totally acceptable despite my jealousy of this cuteness. 

Exhibit B- despite my previous statement, a pic of you and your little brother from kindergarten can be acceptable from time to time- just don't overdo it.

Exhibit C- that super awkward picture of you and your middle school homies with you wearing Bermuda shorts and a surf 

Hawaii hat just because it's too great not to post. You're making fun of yourself, therefore it's totally acceptable. This goes for all throwbacks making fun of yourself. I truly don't believe this is ever over done.

So bring on the awkward pics of you and your BFF from 7th grade but please- dear lord- hold off on the pics of you and your dog last week- no one cares. 

The "Club" Atmosphere

Today my friend Ashley reminded me of something that happened to her a few weeks ago. You'll probably be hearing about her quite often because she's just as awkward as I am.

Anyway, what's the point of being young, wild and free, at a party when some mediocre average Joe won't dance with you?

Ashley said she was minding her own business, having quite the "shambly" night if you catch my drift at a party of about 25-30 people. All of her friends were dancing the night away and she caught a boys eye crossing the room coming toward her. Naturally, she started dancing with Joe. Weird-because Ashley is HOT- Joe looks at her and states, "Uhm, this isn't a club atmosphere" and walked away.

What Ashley should have thought: Uhm, Joe, why are you so awkward? Probably doesn't feel worthy enough to be seen with this thanggg- whateva. (Great attitude to have).

What Ashley did think: "Omg that was like totally so awkward, fml, what do I do now???".

You're probably saying, Bailey, you have no right to tell someone how to not be awkward. And I reply to that by saying: you're right, I don't- but I like to pretend that I do.

The fact that Joe wouldn't dance with Ashley is, as I have stated before, part of the GGG model. Joe was either Gay, has a Girlfriend or hasn't Graduated high school yet, therefore feeling extremely uncomfortable in what he thinks isn't a "club atmosphere".

You know what- I truly live for awkward stories like these. If we don't take risks then we won't have funny stories to look back on and if we don't have funny stories to laugh about when were old and rotting in nursing homes what was the point of college anyway? To get an education? Who are you, my parents? (Just kidding that's kind of important too...).

Grocery Store Love in 1985

People always say, don't let that one get away! I often hear stories of people meeting their significant others in grocery stores. Hell-my own parents met at Walmart at checkout, or as my Dad likes to call it, "Wally-mart". So, we, as "young people" are expected to go in to grocery stores and strike up a conservation with a stranger. Newsflash- were not in 1985 anymore and most of us are doing our best to pretend to look busy on our cell phones to avoid simple, supposedly awkward, conversation with the cashier or better yet those next to us. What a sad world we live in my friends.

Today I attempted to perform the opposite of most people in our generation- I braved the simple, awkward, conversation- mostly because my neighbor in line was a cute Patrick Dempsey look-a-like. We had made the ever-so-awkward eye contact, meaning I must move forward in order to de-awkwardtize the situation. Brown-haired boy placed his avocados and paper plates behind the divider separating my diet pepsi and frozen dinners (yes, I know the frozen dinners look pathetic) from his interesting selection. I commented on his choice of check-out items. Patrick Jr. then proceeded to tell me, "Yeah, I kinda wondered what people would think of me as I carried them around..." I took this as a cue to play the "What's his story game". "Well, my guess would be...you're having a cookout and using the avocados for something tasty." Patrick Jr. smiled and said, "Wow, you're good, close! It's for a graduation party actually." I thought to myself, wait you're kidding how is this going so well I should talk to people in grocery stores more often I wish I was in the 80's where this is normal, pausing with a sigh- I SO belong in that time period. I then met the cashier at checkout (sadly) and grabbed my bags telling Patrick Jr. to have a good time at the graduation party. I walked out the door and thought of any way at all I could stall so we could meet again in the parking lot (sounds desperate, but do NOT sit there innocent and pretend like you wouldn't do it). I decided to walk slowly to my car, place the grocery bags in the trunk (something that I never do) and walk the cart to the furthest lane in the lot. I came bag and Patrick Jr. still was no where to be found. I got in my car, turned the air conditioning on and began staking him out (I promise, I'm not a stalker as bad as this sounds...). I made one loop around the lot and stopped at the stop sign waiting for others to come out. Finally, Patrick Jr. came out looking sharp in his white button up and red tie. He smiled and waved good-bye to me. That's the last I saw of him- but hey, what else is new?

Moral of the story- forget about something being abnormal or awkward and just go for it! Seriously what do you have to lose? A guy saying, "sorry I have a girlfriend?" or "sorry, I play for the other team, but if I was straight I would totally go for you!". Put on your big-girl panties and live a little. If we don't start being as brave as our parents were in the 80's population growth will begin to decline and blah blah blah.

You're a lot less awkward then you think and situations are only as awkward as you make them.

Don't regret moments like this people or you'll end up making excuses for yourself.

P.S.- I'm currently trying to overlook my regret for not falling madly in love at a grocery store by telling myself Patrick Jr. is in high school (hence the graduation party...), gay or has a lisp. Who am I kidding none of those things are true and I just let the love of my life get away.